Weird Dreams

January 22, 2009 at 1:33 am (Journaling, Rants?)

They were bizarre and involved all my Bellingham-people.

One that I thought was funny,  because it was just a case of my subconscious being not very subtle at all, was when a group of us were watching tv.

It was Glenn, Maia, Carissa, and some more people in the background. Their faces were faded.

But there was *also* my first boyfriend, this guy named Casey who I think is adorable and we’re on pretty good terms. We make a kind-of point of talking at least once a year and catching up. There was also Jeremy, and his new girlfriend (in my dream, at least). When I saw his girlfriend was there, I didn’t feel jealous or anything–I just felt tired, because she served as a reminder that he’s over me, and because of that fact, his vendetta against me is just so out of place and inappropriate.

I didn’t even try to talk to him or say hi, because even in my dream I knew he still held whatever grudge he’s holding. But I did try to talk to Casey, and when he ignored me as well, I was shocked. Casey and I had about two months of not talking after we broke up (in ninth grade), and we’ve been on great, hugging terms ever since.

But in my dream, he was ignoring me. I finally pushed a response out of him, and it was so funny. He told me that yes, he still liked me and appreciated the friendship we had, but he remembered how I enjoyed a commercial for Mac a few years ago and frankly, he just can’t associate with that kind of person so would I just e considerate of his feelings and leave him alone?

Everyone in the group was really silent, and trying to pretend to focus on whatever was on tv. I just hung my head and sighed, and then my dream switched into a little narrative.

“And she sat there, her head hung low, and for the first time the exhaustion showed on her face, and it was there for the whole world to see–she was tired, and her feelings were hurt”

I know. I know! Pity party in the subconscious much…. Well, at least my subconscious feels bad for me!


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