If I believed in God…

December 25, 2008 at 5:59 pm (Fun, In Real Life, Journaling) (, , )

… this would serve to reaffirm that I was right in my belief.

You know how people who have faith see beautiful gifts and use them as examples, proof, of God’s existence? That happens to me a lot, except I don’t believe in God. So I’m filling up on all these wonderful stories without the final moral of faith.

It’s been snowing for a while, now, about a week and a half. You should all know this. It’s crazy–I have no memories of their ever being this much snow in the Seattle area. It’s crazy. I’ve lived here for 14 years and this is the most I’ve ever seen. I mean, it’s the most I’ve ever seen where I’ve lived in all 20 years of existence, but most people don’t count the first 6 years since they were in a desert.

Anyway.

I hate Christmas. it’s just kind of my thing, and I can justify it, but it usually makes other people sad, so don’t ask. Just take it for what it’s worth and move on. I hate it. I’m a scrooge. I’ll smile with my family, but we’re really low-key about celebrating and that’s really the only way I can manage. This year, in particular, I’ve been really feeling the scrooge vibe, and warned my mom.

When the snow started picking up about five days ago, I told my mom that if there was snow for Christmas (which has happened maybe ONCE the entire time I’ve lived in this area), I wouldn’t be a scrooge. I jokingly said that if God gave me snow, I would be nice. We were playing around, and I lifted my head to the sky and shook my finger knowingly “You’ve heard my terms, mister. Make it happen.”

So your Christmas Eve weather update was melting. It was about 37 – 40 degrees F all day, and it was raining, which was washing the snow away. Granted, we still had a solid 8 inches minimum on the ground, but the snow was being washed away. I told mom that God probably heard my bargain and gave me a lot of snow, but wanted to show me he was boss and was secretly planning on washing it all away right before midnight.

“He is all powerful, you know” she reminded me.

I reminded her that if that’s the kind of thing God would do, I’m better off without him.

She asked me if it was snowing tomorrow, would I hold up my end of the deal? I couldn’t remember what exactly my end of the bargain was, though, since we hadn’t talked about it in a few days.

“What, you mean believe? No. No amount of snow is going to manage that”

She told me no, I just had to not be a scrooge.

“Oh, that I can do. If God gives me snow on Christmas, I’ll be nice. I won’t believe in him, but I’ll hold up my end of the deal.”

We laughed and went about our merry way.

It’s Christmas morning (I haven’t gotten to sleep yet, thus the early hour). I looked out the window at 5:03 and there was a fresh inch of snow on the ground, with a lot of huge, wonderfully fat snowflakes falling. It looked so beautiful. I love the snow.

*sigh*

Merry Christmas, everyone. I hope it’s a very, merry one.

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